ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO REALISE UR MISTAKES,AS LONG AS U KNOW THERE IS STILL SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO BACK U UP.



i have been doing heaps of thinking for the past few days.
yes,there are a couple of things which have been bothering me since forever.
well,not forever,but for the past few days.
i can't really disclose much here as there are too many unknown ppl viewing my blog,
which i was rather surprise that my blog stats shot up to more than 500 despite having the blog counter for only 2 weeks.
my livejournal account is still on the way,but i dunno how to manage it.*i need help,jac!!*

back to what i was saying,i realised that i did something which sorta disappoint my frens.
and as much as the truth hurts,i must admit that i did change a lil',
and sad to say,not for the better side.
*don't think too far,im STILL & WILL NV do drugs and ciggies*

the last thing i want to do is to let all my love ones down,to disappoint them.
especially when all of them have such high expectations on me.
i dont want the history of my SAM results to repeat.
some of my friends might think that im crazy or insane,
that im still not satisfied with my apparently-quite-good-SAM-TER.
but deep down,i knew that my parents expected higher*thou they said i did well*,
and of course, i let myself down.* i definitely expected higher*

i know its no point ranting over the past,cry over spilled milk.
im afraid that history repeats with my mid session.
somehow,i don't have the confidence i used to have.
whenever im confident about something,the greater the disappointment i get.
this happened for both my SPM and SAM.

the main point is,i think that i did not nerd enuf.
not enuf to put a HD in my bag of success.
i know i need to put more effort,10 times,20 times,
till im full confident that i can score a HD.

but,

easier said than done.

as cliche as it sounds,it is god damn true.
i always know i must put in xxx amount of time,but most of the time,
i ended up spending (xxx)/3 amount of time,
which sometimes,screw my results.
and i will start bitching about it instead of doing something to improve it.

that's the thing,
here i am again,complaining how am i going to screw my midsession,
instead of nerding 24/7,and stop setting my hands on the damn blog page.

therefore,

im gonna set a GREAT challenge for myself,
i will not touch my blog until thursday,
which is after i have gone for the easter show on wednesday.
hopefully i can overcome the addiction of laptop.
and i will not come online unless its something gotta do with my studies.

i dunno wat's wrong with the emoness thing few days,
its either the weather or its the holidays.
thanx kayi ,kirks and ju for being such a sweetheart to comfort me the whole night.
i <3 u guys!!!!!*mwa!!!mwa!!!*
thanx for being there for me during my vulnerable moments.

kirks,
i really appreciate all the msgs u sent!!!its really meaningful and it sorta helps me thing deeply*
<3333!!!!!!

i think that's all for now,before more bullshit coming up.

~ciaoZ~