i am probably facing one of the biggest challenge in my life now.
and always being the well protected one under my parents' wings,to overcome and to face this challenge is definitely MUCH HARDER than expected.
this goes without saying.
apart from coping with the exam stress which is increasing with exams approaching closer,
i have stuffs to deal with when i get home,when i was supposed to study.
"just don't think about it at the moment,concentrate on your finals"
easier said than done.
sometimes,things are not as simple as u think.
DUH i would wish to push everything behind my head and concentrate on my finals,but u cant just delete everything off ur memory as u wish.
if only things were that simple and not complicated,life would be much easier.
unfortunately,this is life.


after this incident happened,the unconditional support my parents gave me made me realised that i took them for granted when i was back home.
i complaint,complaint and complaint ALOT whenever they interfere with my stuffs,whenever they decide things for me,whenever they nag/lecture me out of good will.
before i came to aussie,there was part of me which was looking forward to study down under where i can break free from my parents' "control".
now,when i am under such stress and problems,i wish my parents were here with me.
i admit that i am slack in that sense,but i do miss my family terribly.


i admit,i wasnt a very homey and family kinda person.
my relationship with my parents wasnt the best father-daughter-mother-daughter-relationship.
i respect them,i love them,but for some reason there is an invisible barrier between us.
my secrets seldom flow to their ears,i would usually go to my friends whenever i have problems.
its not that i don't trust my parents,its just generation gap and communication problem.
maybe its cuz my parents are the typical conservative asian parents,i am sorta intimidated *ok,this is kinda exaggerating* by them at times.
my dad has always been telling me that
"family will always be there for u no matter what and friends come and go"
i truly feel it now.
of course,i am not that dumb not to know that,neither do my besties abandoned me or something.
i can feel EXTRA love and care from my parents thou we are so far apart.
it really warms my heart.
it makes me appreciate them MORE,and thinking that how immature and spoil i was last time.


seriously,i dont know what shit am i writing at the moment.
what i am trying to say is
"i am really lucky and glad to be blessed with such great,supportive parents who support whatever i do,who have been sacrificing ALOT for me to study here."
especially my dad,who wasnt from an affluent family.
he managed to send me to aussie with his own sweat and hardwork.

i will try to put all these shits behind me at the moment,
pass my 1st semester with flying colours (HD average),
this is the best and least i could do for all the sacrifice my parents had for me.


i have no idea since when my blog became so serious.
heck,i just need to pour my feelings and release my stress.
feel much better now,hopefully i am able to concentrate for at least an hour.
i really need to,time is running out.