da memoirs of my pretty fcuked up life : part 1.

WARNIN: dis is a friggin emo post wit lotsa vulgar words!!!!!dun bother readin if u r not interested!!!!!! dis post is meant 2 release al my wrath!!!!!!



havent been bloggin 4 a few days n im feelin kinda uncomfortable.guess im juz addicted 2 bloggin.
life hv ben such a bitch lately.
study.nerdin.study. pressure from my parents
lifeless piece of shit!!!
my life is pretty fcuked up now.
on thurs,after da briefin 4 exams it added TONNES of burden,tension,pressure 2 my shoulder.
mrs ho kept remindin us tt its a 3 hrs paper.
dammit.i noe 3 hrs is juz nice 4 me 2 complete d whole paper.tt's IF i noe all my stuffs.
cuz i cant b spendin more den 1 min for 1m.
4 chem,i only hv 57secs 2 to obtain 1 m.
which means further contemplation more den 57 secs is most probably lead 2 incomplete paper.
which means i muz b darn sure bout my facts which i noe im FAR fr well-prepared.
which stressed me out like anythn.remindin myself a gazillion times tt i MUZ focus.
but sumhow i ALWIZ fail 2 do so!!!!not til towards late nite whr my consciences struck me.
den i ll force myself 2 kill all d attached sleepy bug 2 make myself study til1.

im so blardy stressed out.
yet my parents dun understand me.juz cuz i DUn show it infront of them.
my peak-stressed time is either in col or late at nite.
which obviously they cant c.
n my mum thinks im slackin like anythn juz cuz i slept 4 2 hrs in d afternoon after col n i go on9 after gym.
DUH i ll retaliate when she lectures s im NOT!!!
i juz need sumthn 2 keep me off my stupid fcukin lifeless PILLES of notes.
izit 2 muc 4 goin on9 for 1 hr?
i DUN watch tv series anymore since they said i SHUD resist temptation 4 another 2 months.
im GROUNDED til my finals is over.
izit 2 muc 2 go on9?u tell me.
den she wud say i sleep 2 muc.
goddammit!!!!i sleep at 1 n wake up at 6.
bloody 5 hrs of sleep n i need 2 nerd like a mad nerd.
DUH i need sum replenishment in d afternoon rite?
izit soooooo hard 4 her or rather them 2 understand such SIMPLE thing?
she can actually ask dun i feel guilty.
does she ever noe guilt is killin me everynite when i realise i din do muc 4 da day n i ll start forcin myself 2 nerd thou im dead tired?no she doesnt.
juz cuz i din show doesnt mean tt i DUN feel guilty or stressful!!!!

i cant bliv my dad actually doubt my ability of fulfillin monash entry requirement.
i noe im not sum super smart ass but i think im abit above average since i hv been scorin 80 above 4 my exams truout dis yr.since im able 2 obtain 80+ 4 my raw score.im sure ter ll b higher.unless i hv serious brain damage b4 my finals.
i din noe tt i AM suc a not-so-0gud daughter 2 them.
i nv knew tt they doubt my capability in scorin tt score.
i mite not me da cream of da cake.scorin a TER of 99.99%.heck.tt's superhumans score not 4 NORMAL human like me.
but i wud try my very best 2 score atleast 95 n above.
i noe study is da key 2 it but tt doesnt mean i muz hv negative social life,zero entertainment.
only study.eat.sleep.ecercise.bathe.
it cant b only these PATHETIC 5 words exist in my dictionary rite.

due 2 da stress im facin,da pressure fr them,n my kiasuness 2 do well.in short my pathetic,fcuked up life.i think i suffered fr mentally breakdown.
imagine me cryin twice last nitw n dis mornin at 7 sumthn in da mornin when i slept at 3 last nite due to 2 cups of tea which kept me awake!!!
cried 3 times in less den 12 hrs.im pretty sure im not TT stable n normal.
thank gudness its weekend or else even 1inch thick make-up cant cover all my swallon eyes.
im hvin weird disorders now.both bullemia n insomnia.
i stuff my dinner down my throat without muc chewin.thrfore its so uncomfy.
so...i went 2 puke AGAIN.self induced.cant help it.n result in hunger at 1 in da mornin
i seriously think my intestines r corroded my al da HCl in my gastric juice.
den i slept at 3 thou i wuznt reli feel like sleepin n i woke up around 710!!!!
wuz freakin tired but i juz couldnt continue my sleep.
thank gudness i hv my ipod 2 accompany me.but my ipod has been such a bitch lately.da batt couldnt last more den 7 hrs.half of their so called 14 hrs.

i shall continue my disfactory l8r when my parents r not in.they r cumin bac anytime soon.incase im accused of being ADDICTED 2 da com.

*ee ling.if ur readin dis sorry bout all d vulgar words.i noe u dun like it.but juz cant help it*

~ciaoZ~